Some time ago, on a weekend morning before my vacation, I noticed that the accordion-pleated thingy that surrounds the air conditioner in my bedroom had come loose from the unit and there was a gap of about two inches where hot air was coming in. I had no idea how long it had been that way; due to the heatwave, I hoped not long, but since that side of the window is in a corner and is hard to see, it could have been a while.
I spent some time trying to find a way to snap it back into place, but that seemed to be a two-person job and, having no one to help me, I did what any reasonable person would do: I got out my trusty roll of duct tape and sealed it up. My apartment – and electric bill – having been made safe from excessive heat, I went on about my life and forgot to think about a more permanent repair.
Until today, that is.
I was awakened this morning by the unmistakable sound of a squirrel scampering around on my air conditioner. The first thing that came to mind, however, was not my tape-job, but my tomatoes. I was sure that a *#^@!$% squirrel was casing my Topsy-Turvys, figuring out how he was going to ruin my gardening life yet again. I went to the window, pulled back the shade, and tapped angrily on the glass, causing the squirrel to abandon the air conditioner for the porch railing. I rapped on the window a tad more forcefully, and the little bugger ran off.
Thus having secured the safety of my tomatoes for the time being, I went on about getting ready for work. About an hour later, just as I was getting ready to leave, I happened to look over at the air conditioner and noticed that the gap was back. Last night’s monsoon rains apparently compromised the duct tape and it had come unstuck. And then it dawned on me: The *#^@!$% squirrel hadn’t been casing the tomatoes… It had been trying to get into my house! I just know that nasty little bugger was planning to give my cats fleas, eat my unrefrigerated fruit, and commit heaven knows what kind of mayhem.
And so, out came the duct tape once again. I used about three times as much, but I’m just not feeling confident about it anymore, which is upsetting. Like most (all?) reasonably handy people, I’ve always had an unshakable faith in the efficacy of duct tape. But now, between the rain and the squirrel, I’m wondering if it’s enough. I might actually need to find someone to help me fix my a/c installation properly.
Stupid *#^@!$% squirrels. Eat my tomatoes, try to break into my home, make me question duct tape? I hate you, you dirty, fluffy rats.
“I don’t believe in a lot of things, but I do believe in duct tape.”
Miles Straum, LOST