Slate had an article today called, “Michelle, Put on Some Pantyhose.” Since wearing, or not wearing, hose has been a big deal* in our family for years, this article made me want to say something.
Here is the basic premise,
Whereas pantyhose are lambasted as being constrictive and a colossal waste of money, going bare means a woman must consider waxing, exfoliation, firming creams, anti-cellulite and stretch-mark treatments, regular pedicures, and salon spray tans or self-tanners.
Seriously. Why must I consider this nonsense? We all have leg hair (or stubble from shaving) and blemish free living well, it just isn’t living. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t love my spider veins (which are on the increase these days) but that’s life. I don’t like vitamins either but I’ve adapted.
The article go on to say,
You slip them on, and your leg troubles disappear: You may skip a shave; forgo a waxing appointment; and mask scars, bug bites, cellulite, varicose veins, fat, discoloration, and bruises on even the most fish-belly-white or sallow of skin tones. Your leg looks polished; the faint tint and soft outline complement any outfit.
Great, my leg troubles disappear but in the sausage casing my muffin top is highlighted and I sweat in a most unlady-like fashion. My mom warned me about being unlady-like, I think. And my leg troubles do NOT disappear, they are just masked in an illusion. Why do we as a culture love to live our life via smoke and mirrors?
So I say to Slate, and anyone else out there advocating pantyhose, dermabrasion, and all the other deny-who-you-are, life-must-be-airbrushed-and-blemish-free services out there, bugger off. Don’t believe (or buy) the lie.
* If you are inclined to revisit the “original family issue,” please don’t go there. Sarah really doesn’t like it and she has threatened to delete this post if we go there. I don’t want to lose my privileges, so let’s not find out if she’s kidding. Me thinks she isn’t!