Don’t Buy the Lie

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Slate had an article today called, “Michelle, Put on Some Pantyhose.” Since wearing, or not wearing, hose has been a big deal* in our family for years, this article made me want to say something.

Here is the basic premise,

Whereas pantyhose are lambasted as being constrictive and a colossal waste of money, going bare means a woman must consider waxing, exfoliation, firming creams, anti-cellulite and stretch-mark treatments, regular pedicures, and salon spray tans or self-tanners.

Seriously. Why must I consider this nonsense? We all have leg hair (or stubble from shaving) and blemish free living well, it just isn’t living. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t love my spider veins (which are on the increase these days) but that’s life. I don’t like vitamins either but I’ve adapted.

The article go on to say,

You slip them on, and your leg troubles disappear: You may skip a shave; forgo a waxing appointment; and mask scars, bug bites, cellulite, varicose veins, fat, discoloration, and bruises on even the most fish-belly-white or sallow of skin tones. Your leg looks polished; the faint tint and soft outline complement any outfit.

Great, my leg troubles disappear but in the sausage casing my muffin top is highlighted and I sweat in a most unlady-like fashion. My mom warned me about being unlady-like, I think. And my leg troubles do NOT disappear, they are just masked in an illusion. Why do we as a culture love to live our life via smoke and mirrors?

So I say to Slate, and anyone else out there advocating pantyhose, dermabrasion, and all the other deny-who-you-are, life-must-be-airbrushed-and-blemish-free services out there, bugger off. Don’t believe (or buy) the lie.

* If you are inclined to revisit the “original family issue,” please don’t go there. Sarah really doesn’t like it and she has threatened to delete this post if we go there. I don’t want to lose my privileges, so let’s not find out if she’s kidding. Me thinks she isn’t!

11 thoughts on “Don’t Buy the Lie”

  1. I’m with you, Eileen! Pantyhose may not be such a big deal in a cooler climate, but since moving to Virginia I’m pretty much given them up, and if my legs are less than perfect you don’t have to look at them!

  3. I’ve been “converted” for a LONG time! Can’t stand the sausage casings any more either. You need slacks or some kind of jeans or pants in this climate in the wintertime anyway, so socks or knee-hi’s depending on the type of footwear really are just FINE !! And, as Marlene said, if you don’t like the combination, don’t look. PERIOD! And, thankfully, the “big deal” of years ago, is just that — YEARS AGO — another era. Some would ask what does “Lady Like” mean anymore? A different era, indeed! I like it :)

  4. This is one of the main reasons I love Michelle Obama! I DESPISE hose. DESPISE them. Won’t wear them. Nope nope nope. Now I can say “But the First Lady doesn’t wear them!” YAY!

  5. When Sarah told me that lady justices in D.C. did not wear them under their robes in court, I was liberated. And, YEA, for Michele and she’s made sleeveless ultra popular again. DOUBLE YEA!!

  7. I’ll cop to pedicures in the service of going hose-free, but the rest of it? Bah. Sunscreen is about as fancy as I get.

    @ Mom/Common Loon – I don’t know nothin’ about what the female members of the SCOTUS wear. I recall mentioning that attorneys here don’t wear hose, though. Maybe that’s what you’re recalling?

  9. Hmmm…I must be living in the past – I always wear hose with a skirt, AND I always wear a slip – Mom drilled it into me. Old habits die hard, I guess.

    Plus, my skin is so white as to be nearly translucent, so hose make me feel slightly more human-colored.

  10. Pantyhose – not cool looking opaque tights or the like- make you look OLDER! Because it looks like you have something to hide. No, they’re not natural looking. Actually, I think they are quite conspicuous. The other day I even saw a woman wearing hose underneat GYM SHORTS. wtf

  11. We will always hear from both sides on this topic. Some will like them, some will not. Very long story short- a great pair of elegant pantyhose are going to make you look a lot better, warmer in the cooler months, attract the boys, etc etc etc.
    As for Michele Obama, I like her too, and she does wear Pantyhose.
    Obviously:
    http://img708.imageshack.us/i/micheleobamaph4.jpg/
    (Her saying (1 time) on ‘the view’ that she does not wear them doesn’t hold up for every single day. Maybe in that decline decade of pantyhose, which obviously it looks like we have come out of – but now they are back.)
    (We would like to say hello to, Zooey DesChanel, Katy Perry, Lindsay, Blake Lively, Daisy Lowe, etc etc etc)
    My boyfriend met me when I was with my 2 bare-legged girlfriends, and he said that me wearing sheer pantyhose at the time was one of the deciding factors that made him work up the courage to come talk to me. I thought he would go for my 2 friends over me, especially my ‘supermodel’ friend – but said that I had 1 great thing ‘up’ on them, as he has always been very attracted to silky textures and lady-like girls. (He’s not a fan of ‘brittany’) ! :)

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